Which Revision Best Corrects The Underlined Sentence

Which Revision Best Corrects the Underlined Sentence? A Deep Dive into Grammatical Precision and Style

Improving writing involves more than just avoiding grammatical errors; it's about crafting clear, concise, and engaging prose. A crucial aspect of this process is revising sentences to enhance their impact and accuracy. This article delves into the art of sentence revision, focusing on identifying weaknesses and selecting the best correction for underlined sentences. We'll explore common grammatical pitfalls, stylistic issues, and the strategies employed to choose the most effective revision.

Understanding the Importance of Sentence Revision

Sentence revision is a fundamental step in the writing process. It’s not simply about correcting mistakes; it’s about refining and perfecting your message. A poorly constructed sentence can confuse your reader, obscure your meaning, and weaken the overall impact of your writing. Effective revision, on the other hand, can transform a bland sentence into a powerful and memorable one. Consider the difference between:

• Original: The dog ran quickly down the street.
• Revised: The dog, a blur of fur and frantic paws, sprinted down the street.

While both sentences convey the same basic information, the revised sentence is far more evocative and engaging. This demonstrates the transformative power of careful revision.

Common Grammatical Errors Requiring Revision

Many grammatical errors can render a sentence unclear or incorrect. Some of the most frequent offenders include:

1. Subject-Verb Agreement

This fundamental grammatical rule dictates that the verb in a sentence must agree in number with its subject. Incorrect subject-verb agreement can significantly impact the clarity of your writing.

• Example: The dogs chases the ball. (Incorrect)
• Revision: The dogs chase the ball. (Correct)

2. Pronoun Agreement

Pronouns must agree in number and gender with their antecedents (the nouns they refer to). Failure to do so creates confusion and undermines the credibility of your writing.

• Example: Each student should bring their own supplies. (Incorrect – singular pronoun with plural antecedent)
• Revision: Each student should bring his or her own supplies. (Correct) OR Each student should bring their own supplies. (Correct, increasingly accepted usage for gender-neutral language)

3. Tense Consistency

Maintaining consistent verb tense throughout a sentence and paragraph is essential for clarity and coherence. Shifting tenses unexpectedly can disrupt the flow of your writing and confuse the reader.

• Example: She walked to the store and buys a loaf of bread. (Incorrect - tense shift)
• Revision: She walked to the store and bought a loaf of bread. (Correct)

4. Dangling Modifiers

A dangling modifier is a phrase or clause that doesn't clearly modify any specific word in the sentence. This results in illogical and often humorous sentences.

• Example: Running down the street, the mailbox was nearly knocked over. (Incorrect - the mailbox isn't running)
• Revision: Running down the street, I nearly knocked over the mailbox. (Correct)

5. Faulty Parallelism

Parallelism requires that items in a list or series be grammatically consistent. Inconsistent parallelism disrupts the rhythm and clarity of your writing.

• Example: She enjoys swimming, hiking, and to play tennis. (Incorrect)
• Revision: She enjoys swimming, hiking, and playing tennis. (Correct)

Identifying Weaknesses in Underlined Sentences

Before choosing a revision, it’s crucial to pinpoint the weaknesses in the original sentence. Ask yourself the following questions:

• Is the sentence grammatically correct? Check for subject-verb agreement, pronoun agreement, tense consistency, and other grammatical errors.
• Is the sentence clear and concise? Avoid unnecessary words or phrases that can obscure your meaning.
• Is the sentence stylistically effective? Consider the tone, voice, and overall impact of the sentence. Does it engage the reader?
• Is the sentence logically structured? Ensure that the ideas flow smoothly and logically. Does the sentence contain any dangling modifiers or other structural problems?
• Does the sentence accurately convey the intended meaning? Does the sentence reflect the overall meaning of the paragraph or passage?

Strategies for Choosing the Best Revision

Once you’ve identified the weaknesses in the underlined sentence, you can begin selecting the best revision. Consider these strategies:

• Simplify Complex Structures: Break down long, convoluted sentences into shorter, more manageable ones.
• Eliminate Redundancy: Remove unnecessary words and phrases that don't add meaning.
• Strengthen Verbs: Use strong, active verbs to create more vivid and engaging prose.
• Improve Word Choice: Choose precise and evocative words that accurately convey your meaning.
• Vary Sentence Structure: Avoid monotony by using a variety of sentence structures (simple, compound, complex).
• Enhance Clarity: Ensure that the meaning of the sentence is clear and unambiguous. Avoid vague or ambiguous language.
• Consider Context: The best revision will always depend on the surrounding text. Make sure the revised sentence fits smoothly into the overall flow of the paragraph or passage.

Examples of Sentence Revision

Let's examine several examples to illustrate the process of identifying weaknesses and choosing the best revisions.

Example 1:

• Original: The report, which was submitted late, and was poorly written, received a failing grade.
• Revision 1: The late, poorly written report received a failing grade. (More concise and direct)
• Revision 2: Because the report was submitted late and was poorly written, it received a failing grade. (Clearly explains the cause-and-effect relationship)

Example 2:

• Original: Walking down the street, a car nearly hit me.
• Revision: As I walked down the street, a car nearly hit me. (Fixes the dangling modifier)

Example 3:

• Original: She likes to read, write, and traveling.
• Revision: She likes to read, write, and travel. (Fixes the faulty parallelism)

The Role of Style and Tone in Revision

Revision isn't solely about correcting grammatical errors; it also involves refining the style and tone of your writing. The best revision will not only be grammatically correct but will also align with the overall style and purpose of your writing. Consider your target audience and the context in which your writing will be read.

Conclusion: The Iterative Nature of Revision

Revising sentences is an iterative process. It often involves several rounds of editing and refinement before you achieve the desired level of clarity, precision, and style. Don't be afraid to experiment with different revisions until you find the one that best conveys your message and resonates with your readers. The process of revision is a journey towards mastering the art of effective communication through writing. Remember to always consider grammar, clarity, style, and context when evaluating and selecting the best revision for any underlined sentence. By employing these strategies and paying close attention to detail, you can elevate your writing to a new level of excellence.